Writing Advice  THE BASICS OF ESSAY CONSTRUCTION

Compiled by Catherine Wycoff
TA EPS 201, 1997

Sentence Fragments

The following are examples of common types of sentence fragments.

a. “Classical liberalism shift away from feudalism.” [Lacks a verb]

b. “Establishing common schools.” [Lacks both a subject and a verb]

c. “When Jefferson proposed his plan for public education.” [Contains a subject and a verb but begins with a subordinating word].

Fragments can be corrected either by rewriting them so that they contain a complete sentence pattern or by combining them with another pattern as a subordinate element.

a. “Classical liberalism marked a shift away from feudalism.” [Verb added]

b. “Horace Mann established common schools.” [Verb and subject added]
or,
“By establishing commons schools, Horace Mann sought to alleviate existing nineteenth century societal problems like poverty, crime, and immigration.” [Sentence combined with another sentence to express a complete, independent thought]

c. “When Jefferson proposed his plan for public education, the Virginia legislature defeated it.” [Sentence combined with another pattern as a subordinate element]

Run-on Sentences

The following are examples of run-on sentences.

a. “Thomas Jefferson's educational plan denied women, African Americans, and Native Americans extended schooling he thought they did not need it.”

b. “Horace Mann's common school proposal appealed to many societal groups it served their respective interests and immediate goals.”

• Separate Sentences

“Thomas Jefferson's educational plan denied women, African Americans, and Native Americans extended schooling. He thought they did not need it.” [The two main clauses are made into separate sentences]

• Comma and coordinating conjunction

“Thomas Jefferson's educational plan denied women, African Americans, and Native Americans extended schooling, for he thought they did not need it.” [The two main clauses are separated by a comma and a coordinating conjunction]

• Semi-colon

“Thomas Jefferson's educational plan denied women, African Americans, and Native Americans extended schooling; he thought they did not need it.” [The two main clauses are separated by a semi-colon]

• Subordinating conjunction

“Because he thought they did not need it, Thomas Jefferson's educational plan denied women, African Americans, and Native Americans extended schooling.” [Because subordinates the first clause to the second]

Passive Voice

In the active voice the subject acts. For example,

“Orestes Brownson opposed Horace Mann's common school proposal.”

In the passive voice, the subject is acted upon. The actor is either relegated to a phrase:

“Horace Mann's common school proposal was opposed by Orestes Brownson.”

or omitted entirely:

“Horace Mann's common school proposal was opposed.”

Passive

“For the nation to progress it was believed that future citizens must develop their virtue and reason through education.” [Who or which groups believed this?]

Active

“Classical liberals believed that in order for the nation to progress, future citizens must develop their virtue and reason through education.”

Sometimes the subject of an active statement is unknown or unimportant, and then the passive voice can be useful.

“Heroes are made not born.”
“Horace Mann was born in 1796 in Franklin, Massachusetts.”

Except in these situations, however, rely on the active voice. It clarifies and strengthens your argument.

Commas

• Comma needed

“Though he believed that education would develop virtue and reason Jefferson opposed educating females and African Americans.”

• Revised

“Though he believed that education would develop virtue and reason, Jefferson opposed educating females and African Americans.” [Comma used to set off introductory phrases and clauses]

• Comma needed

“This is most surprising since the weaknesses Jefferson and other classical liberals attributed to these groups namely passion and irrationality were those they believed education could improve.”

• Revised

“This is most surprising since the weaknesses Jefferson and other classical liberals attributed to these groups, namely passion and irrationality, were those they believed education could improve.” [Comma used to set of nonrestrictive appositives]

Use the comma before a coordinating conjunction linking main clauses. The coordinating conjunctions are and, but, or, nor, and sometimes yet, so, and for. They should be preceded by a comma when they link main clauses -- that is clauses with a subject and predicate that make complete statements.

“Jefferson argued for human equality, but he also accepted uncritically the subordinate role of women in society.”

Thesis Statement

1. The thesis statement often is expressed in one or two sentences. It generally is part of the introduction, thus alerting readers to what they can expect and focusing their attention. In effect, your thesis statement and introduction serve as a "roadmap" for your paper.
2. The thesis statement serves three crucial functions:
   1. It narrows your topic to a single idea that you want your readers to gain from your essay.
   2. In asserting something about the topic, it conveys your purpose and your argument.
   3. It may provide a specific, concise preview of your ideas and of how you will arrange them in the essay.
3. Writing the thesis statement
   When you move from groups of ideas to a thesis statement, the most important step is to discover exactly what you want to say.
   1. How are the ideas related?
   2. What is your perspective of them?
   3. How can you convey relationships and your perspective to your readers in one, specific, assertive sentence?

Ordering Your Essay

• Types of organization:
  1. General to specific pattern. You will choose this pattern if you want to present your main ideas first and then support them with specifics. This pattern often suits argumentation, where the writer may first state the entire argument generally and then provide the specific evidence for each assertion.
  2. Comparison and contrast. This pattern can be arranged in two ways:
     1. First discuss the features of one item being compared and then discuss the features of the second item.
     2. Discuss the two elements or issues side by side throughout the essay, examining both under the various categories of comparison.
• Maintaining Unity (the outline)
  1. In developing and checking your outline, and in writing your essay, you should be aware of two qualities of effective writing that relate to organization: unity and coherence.
  2. An essay has unity, if all its parts support the thesis statement and relate to each other. It has coherence if readers can see the relations and move easily from one thought to the next. Unity and coherence underlie successful paragraphs. They also are important when you are planning the arguments in the whole essay.
  3. When your outline is nearly completed, examine it for unity.
     1. Is each primary division relevant to the thesis statement?
     2. Within major sections of the outline, does each example and detail support the main idea of that section?
  4. You may become sidetracked by ideas that do not really fit, so you are wise to delete them at the outline stage. If you find a way to include some of them, you can always do so later.
• Coherence (the outline)
  1. Coherence is achieved by an easy movement from one idea to another, a movement that corresponds to the readers' general expectations of logical order and to their particular expectations created by your thesis statement.
  2. In looking over your outline, be sure that the whole adheres to the organizational pattern you selected (e.g., general to specific or comparison/contrast).
     1. Review the main divisions, the subdivisions, and the supporting examples and details to ensure that each relates to your thesis statement.
     2. Ask yourself how you will move from each item in the outline to the one following. If you have difficulty perceiving a connection, then recheck to be certain that the items fit the thesis and the organizational pattern.

Shape/Structure of a Paragraph

• Central idea at the beginning.
  1. A general topic sentence comes first.
  2. Then, sometimes a clarifying or limiting sentence that amplifies or restricts the meaning of the topic sentence.
  3. Finally, specific examples and details that support the topic sentence.
• Paragraph Unity and Coherence

  One way to achieve unity and coherence is through transitional words or phrases.

  1. To add or show sequence:
     again, also, and, and then, besides, equally important, finally, first, further, furthermore, in addition, in the first place, last, moreover, next, second, still, too
  2. To compare:
     also, in the same way, likewise, similarly
  3. To contrast:
     although, and yet, but, but at the same time, despite, even so, even though, for all that, however, in contrast, in spite of, nevertheless, on the contrary, on the other hand, regardless, still, though, yet
  4. To give examples or intensify:
     after all, an illustration of, even, for example, for instance, indeed, in fact, it is true, of course, specifically, that is, to illustrate
  5. To repeat, summarize, or conclude:
     all in all, altogether, as has been said, in brief, in conclusion, in other words, in particular, in short, in simpler terms, in summary, on the whole, that is, therefore, to put it differently, to summarize
  6. To show cause or effect:
     accordingly, as a result, because, consequently, for this purpose, hence, otherwise, since, then, therefore, thereupon, thus, to this end, with this object.

Convincing a Reader

In a way, all writing is meant to persuade: You try to convince readers to accept your perspective on a topic. To convince readers that your idea is sound, or even to make them take your argument seriously, you have to follow certain conventional practices of essay development:

1. Sound moderate
   1. Avoid the use of absolute words that allow no exceptions (e.g., all, always, never, and no one).
   2. Use a reasonable tone.
   3. Avoid the use of "strong" adjectives. For example, Horace Mann was a "chauvinist."
   4. Another way to show your objectivity is to admit that an opposing view is reasonable but to demonstrate that your point is more compelling.
   5. Avoid the use of stereotypes. For example, all business leaders are "evil."
2. Support your assertions and topic sentences with concrete and specific evidence.
   1. A fact is verifiable--that is, one can determine whether it is true.
   2. An opinion, by contrast, is a judgment based on facts. These form the backbone of an argument. But stated by themselves, they have little power to convince. You must always let your reader know what your evidence is and how it led you to arrive at each of your opinions.
3. Facing the question directly.
4. Avoid oversimplification of the relation between causes and their effects.
5. Defining terms.

Concluding Paragraph

How to avoid several pitfalls of conclusions.

1. Don't simply repeat your introduction--statement of subject, thesis sentence, and all. Presumably the paragraphs in the body of your essay have contributed something to the opening statements, and it's that something you want to capture in your conclusion.
2. Don't start off in a new direction, with a subject different from or broader than the one your essay has been about.
3. Don't conclude more than you reasonably can from the evidence you have presented.
4. Don't use your conclusion to apologize for your essay or otherwise cast doubt on it. Do not say, "Even though I'm no expert," or "This may not be convincing, but I believe it's true," or anything similar. Rather, to win your readers' confidence, display confidence